Shared Thoughts of 4 Former English Students

You know -- the Taoist liken life to a river, that it must constantly be flowing, moving on to new areas and thing in order to bring life and to be pure -- if it stands still for too long -- it stagnates and cannot support life.

My life is at a standstill. Or so it feels sometimes. It is very difficult to be put on the back burner -- and to consequently put things that are important to me on the back burner. I am at such an impass right now. I want to move out into my own apartment, but WITH my boyfriend, but he can't. So I have to choose between my own place or him. I guess I want my cake and to eat it to.

On the bright side -- I got a kitten, whose name is Marley (he was Zeus on Day 1, then Punkin, then Mr. Punky, then otis -- talk about an identity crisis). And the weather is gorgeous here -- it was near 80 degree yesterday!

Happy, yet wanting things to keep progressing.
CD

here is a link to a poem i recently came across and really enjoyed:

http://www.versedaily.org/2005/gone.shtml

love you guys and hope your thanksgiving holidays were peaceful and happy.

s :)

hey tom! welcome back you big cynical bastard you! hehe.

So, I haven't posted lately, but it is good to read some friendly bantering between ms. davis and the nymphomaniac.

Can someone tell me how it came to be that this week is Thanksgiving?! Life moves fast here. Sometimes that is a good thing, other times it is exhausting! All in all, though, things are good. I just consumed a massive amount of peanut butter and chocolate chips though. Sometimes I get snacking on something and it tastes good so I want to keep eating it. I am such an extremist.

So about all of this love talk - I enjoy Carla's sentiments and ultimately would lean on her side of the fence. I am recovering hopeless romantic myself. Yet, there are only so many years a person can be alone before they sink into cynicism. So perhaps I will be the balance between the two - hoping for love while not really believing in it all at the same time.

So how were the comps? Grueling and horrible? I am sure they must've been something like that. Ugh. Did I mention I am thinking about going back to school to study pre-med and then apply for med school? Right now I am still in the "thinking about it" stage, but it is serious consideration. If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do with my life, let me know. Not that I need to know really. I just need to take it one step at a time. Besides anytime I try to plan something, it ends up that way anyway. Such as when random letters show up in my mailbox, saying that I am no longer an teaching assistant. You know, signs like that which remind me I should really lay off this "planning" bit.

Umm....I need to go for a run now. Not really, but seriously, who decides it is a good idea to eat that much shit before bed? Oh yeah, me. Did I mention I like peanut butter?

Maybe this explains my lack of romantic presence in my life....hmmm....

s :)

Retract the claws. I have no problem with love, or those in love. Quite the contrary, a little part of me is envious of those so smitten with life. I could not be happier for you and what you have obtained. If you have forgotten in your absence from me, I like giving people shit. I too notice the good in life, but I don't find these things as funny; although, they are more amusing and produce something that the negative side of life can't--a genuine smile rather than a sarcastic smirk. So I will now try to do you two better and give you five things that I actually do love.
1. coming home and having both cats waiting for me at the front door and the sound of thier collective purr before I've ever began to pet them
2. the first snow of the year
3. hearing my bestfriend's kid call me Uncle Tom and whining to be picked up and held
4. pretending to be ignorant as my cousin Elaine proudly teaches me to tie my shoes
5. all in one night, licking chocolate sauce off three of greatest people I've ever met

So there, fuck off.
much love to all of you.

Dear Tom:

You write as if you think that love is a dirty word -- quick to hand out judgment for anyone that could dare to focus their literary energy on such a subject. But we live our lives by choice. And I choose to see the world as a place where love rules supreme. I choose sunlight over dark. And yes, I enjoy whiskers on kittens.

You greatly underestimate me if you think that I blindly write about the subject, spouting off teenage love poetry, gushing over a kiss, or a love note. Quite the contrary. I see the dark side of the world just as much as you or anyone else. We all fight a constant battle -- between happiness and depression, love and hate, morality and immorality. There are great lessons to be learned from either side, from either outcome, there is great depth in either side, but it is a choice. We choose what we are and what we will become.

Writing about love and beautiful things in life is not a sign of weakness as you would have people believe, rather a sign of great strength, holding back the dark so that the light may shine through. There may be more poetry with the dark side of the world, but the light side is what sustains and makes us press on, willing to fight those battles.

3 Ugly Things:
1. Hangovers
2. Fighting with your boyfriend over nothing
3. dishes that haven't been done in a week

3 Beautiful Things:
1. Planning my first Thanksgiving -- and not being scared about cooking for that many people
2. The first cup of hot chocolate this season -- sooooo good.
3. looking for a kitten to adopt

Balance. Take two and call me in the morning. -- CD

Yeah, it's been a while. I'm lazy and I'm an ass, neither of which is a huge revelation. I have been enjoying your writing over the last couple of weeks and think we all need a little spanking over the lack of writing that has been done on this blog. Okay, longfellow deserves the spanking, I just want to get spanked, and my hand on Letto and/or Miss. Davis' ass is a thought that rarely leaves my mind. As far as the subjects that have been discussed throughout my absence and what is going on with my world is something that I will attempt to tackle together. It should prove to be much easy than masturbating and driving; a skill I master while still with my driving permit. Do you realize how hard it is to orgasm with your eyes open?

Writing, God I wish I was doing more of it. Mostly now I just have a hard enough time trying to keep up with my personal journal. Miss. Davis, you kick some ass. I would love to be a proof reader for that little book of yours, if I may. However, if it is getting as sappy as your blog responses, I might not want to read it. I think we all get the point that you are in love. Three Beautiful things: 1. Cocktail waitresses that wear clothes too small for them and apparently have cut off circulation to their brain 2. waking up in a drunken haze and realizing you don't care about finding out what you did last night--because your currently having sex, and it's about to be over 3. whiskers on kittens.

The comps are sounding pretty tough, glad I don't have to worry about that for a few more years. While we are on the subject of gothic though, my friend Jeremy has a new girlfriend. After meeting her I realized that she is the first really fat goth I've ever met. How the hell does a culture of jackasses stay so thin while avoiding the outdoors completely?

The only other subject I wanted to hit on was love. Letto asked the question of looking for love or letting it find you (Miss. Davis, it seems, prefers the mode of tracking it down strangling the life out of it and mounting it on the wall for her friends to see. Longfellow is too busy trying to get laid to even vote in on the subject). Here's my current situation, take from it what you will. I am dating three women right now--yes they all know about each other, no they won't let me get them into a four-way. The first of which I will leave nameless because she has a husband and two kids. Oddly, she is currently my favorite and I know this one isn't going anywhere. She's Brazilian and always has interesting things to say. Or, maybe it just seems interesting and sexy because of the accent (yes, I do know the answer to that question). The second, Tina, is going nowhere because she is a egotistical bitch. She's--I swear I 'm not making this up--a blonde hair, blue-eyed, mexican/mormon, that is a lead singer of a cover band. The sex is great and when it's just us, she amazing to be around; put her in public and she turns nuts. I've known her ten years though and it's impossible to get rid of her. The third is Tabitha, a cocktail waitress that wears very tight clothing, gives me free shots, and that I frequently wake up have sex with. Come to think of it, I don't know that we've ever had a conversation. I'm cool with that. All of these relationships fell into my lap, one of them quite literally so. The relationships that I have found to be the most fulfilling and kicking my ass the hardest over screwing them up, were friends that I happened to fall in love with. It has happened three times and I am anxiously awaiting the fourth.

My birthday was last Sunday and I am now twenty five. If someone had told me ten years ago that I would be working at a fireplace company with a college degree, living in my sister's basement, and dating two women I could barely stand and one that I can barely understand, I don't know what I would have differently. Besides, I was too busy trying to learn how cum with my eyes open and keep it off my Mom's minivan's seat covers.

Hey, sorry I haven't written lately. But seriously, what is up with the boyz? Are you even reading? Please show us that you care! We want to know what is going on in those cute little minds of yours!

I have found a great coffee shop not too far from my house. Already I have decided I want their music collection - it is amazing. Plus they have lots of comfy couches and free wi-fi. I think once winter gets here and I am forced indoors, I will come here quite frequently.

Today was the marathon here in NYC. It was amazing to watch all of the runners as they came by here in Brooklyn. What was more amazing is the support from the crowd - people cheering on complete strangers, saying "You can do it! Keep going!"

What if we did this for each other all of the time?