needing to change
I've gotta change something. It breeds discontent -- this way that I am -- always looking to the future and to how to accomplish these "goals." It makes the moment you are in, no matter what it is, unbearable, going by too slowly, or not contributing to reaching the big final goal.
This is why it has always been hard for me to develop truly close friends. I keep everyone at arm's length, either because they aren't "worthy" of fitting into my bigger plans, or I just don't take the time to get to know them. I mean hell, how many people do you know that've done a "social cleansing" and quite talking to half the people they know. geez.
So. It will take an entire shift in how I view life and the world -- that life is right now, in the moment, and that everyone has something to offer. It will be surrendering to the little things and having faith that the big things will come in time.
cd
This is why it has always been hard for me to develop truly close friends. I keep everyone at arm's length, either because they aren't "worthy" of fitting into my bigger plans, or I just don't take the time to get to know them. I mean hell, how many people do you know that've done a "social cleansing" and quite talking to half the people they know. geez.
So. It will take an entire shift in how I view life and the world -- that life is right now, in the moment, and that everyone has something to offer. It will be surrendering to the little things and having faith that the big things will come in time.
cd
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