laundry, lust and love
yeah, what's up with those boys?! We miss you guys - send some words. Longfellow will be here in the city soon, so I will make him post when he is here!
life here is good. tonight is a relaxing evening at my apartment. my roomie is away, so I get it all to myself! i must say, i need the quiet space. i think i may rent a movie and relax, but first i need to do laundry. That requires going to the laundrymat, but i don't mind cause i have a good book to finish.
thanks for the words carla. i do cherish the independence aspect of not being in a relationship, and honestly know that right now it wouldn't be fair to someone else to live how i live. but sometimes i do want love, and that someone to share it all with. loneliness comes in waves, sometimes drowning me, other times just making me a little seasick. somehow the admitting of actually wanting someone in my life in that role, seems like admitting weakness or making me a target of pity. because it isn't as if i can just choose for that to happen. it just does when it does. so i am not waiting, as much as i am just living and if it comes it comes. anyway. but my next thought on this topic is - why do we obsess so much about a person we are interested in or care about? do men do this as much? i mean, if i even get slightly interested in a person (even if i really know that it wouldn't work out), i find my mind always going back to them. it is bizarre. i feel so obssessive. does everyone do this? it drives me crazy. mostly because then i know that if anything did happen, my mind has already advanced things much too quickly by running away with itself.
sc :)
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